Thursday, November 15, 2012

i think too much part II

it doesn't seem right to continue my regular scheduled posting, as irregular as it is, without saying more about my last post, "i think too much."  

i wrote about my observation that some people, usually women, tend to explain their actions quicker than trooper can shake a stick at.

i've been on both ends ~ feeling the need to explain myself as someone's critical eyes bore a hole into me and listening as someone explains why she isn't dressed for the day or why her mini-van is what she calls a mess.  {you want to see a mess honey?  i'll show you a mess, come with me :}

i've been accused of being judgemental by some before...i'm not sure if it would make any difference if they knew i was wondering why on earth they were running themselves ragged to have a guest over, that their house looked great as it was...judging is judging and the bible says it's a no-no.

someone wrote to me privately and suggested that maybe the sweet ladies who feel like they have to explain themselves...that maybe their actions are rooted in shame and not a funny human quirk.

think about it.  i did.

maybe those closest to them shamed them for their actions, now they desperately try to live up to everyone's expectations hoping not to be shamed by me or anyone else.  people's words are powerful especially when they come from someone we love.  they can shape and mold us.  wow, how important it is to listen to the words that matter most...those from their Maker.

in essence, there i was shaming them without realizing it ~ only from the opposite end of the spectrum...basically i was saying, "shame on you for thinking i'm being critical of you...shame on your for working so hard to have someone over...shame on you for trying to please people. that's a tough pill to swallow, huh?  {Lord, forgive me.}

so here is the deal.

where is my role in all of this?

it's to love unconditionally.  it's to pray.  it's to show them and everyone else that they are not what their parents, teachers, husbands, kids, "friends", doctors, co-workers say they are...they are not failures.  they are not hopeless. they are not unlovable or a mess.

they are what God says they are...

fearfully and wonderfully made...made is His image.  they are full of potential.
and, they ARE different for a reason.   

did you hear that?

WE are special. we are NOT the mistakes we've made. we are NOT what we wear or how much money we make, or don't for that matter.  we are not how clean our houses are or how dirty the floor might be.  we are not the car we drive or how well behaved our children are in public.

God is here to heal the wounds, to love unconditionally, to help us move from who we are to WHO HE'S CALLED US TO BE.

how cool is that?  as i close, i'm reminded of the song "you are more" by tenth avenue north.  please watch the video.

Tenth Avenue North - You Are More from tenth-avenue-north on GodTube.


here are the lyrics:

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You've been remade
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.


amen.

10 comments:

  1. Oh I love this and the video hit me right in the heart like an arrow.thud......
    I think to much too. HUGS B

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  2. you know....there is nothing like that feeling of being misunderstood. Keep trying I would say because eventually they will see your heart and they are you won't have to do anymore explaining. Love your heart!

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  3. Love this post.... I struggled with your last one...and was mulling over what you said....I've said it before I love your heart for God!! What you say is so true...God is our only judge.... I struggle struggle struggle with this..... I am the person worrying about what people think...and I know it comes from things in the past...I daily have to take it to God...but I fail more often that not...thank you for another reminder...

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  4. :) I love your witness for our Lord - and for how you call each of us to remember His works in all of our lives.

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  5. Wow! That's a great reminder to like Everyone! It's hard not to judge and be misunderstood at times.
    Your heart is so full of God's love and you should express it. I'm one that has a lot to say, but am always afraid to hurt someones feelings. I think we all should be bold and step out into our faith! God hears all!
    Thanks for sharing,
    Amy

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  6. MM,
    As I read your first post I was imagining the situations you presented though my eyes; how do I feel/react/respond under those circumstances... Likely just as you do.
    I long for genuineness in people.
    Casual contact will always be more superficial. I have a hard time with small talk. But that's my problem, not the people with whom I'm speaking.
    Friendships for me these days requres a level of personal honesty (i.e. genuineness, intellectual integrity) with yourself and those you love.
    When you queried that you "couldn't put your finger on it..." I imagined that you, too, long for the same.
    This post digs deeper, asking Him to search your heart and I find that endearing. You have that personal honesty that I find compelling in a friendship.
    I have yet to meet someone who doesn't fall into the trap of judging other people. I think we do it because we filter everything through our experiences and understanding of God and who He is to us. When I'm connected to Him, it's all water off a duck's back. I can even hear the horrible phrase "Laura, when I first met you I thought...." without blinking an eye. When I'm not connected (i.e. when I'm focused on ME) that phrase throws me for a loop every time.
    Long winded comment to say that I did not think your original post was signaling that you were judgmental - or at least no more than the rest of the world! I read it as an honest query into why you respond to certain interactions the way you do.
    This second post is lovely. Shame is a tough one for so many - especially women. We all could repent for how we view others, MM. You have a good, loving, God-fearing heart.
    Bless you,
    Laura

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  7. Will be reading n discussing this with my daughter... Well said. I am focused on reflecting God's GRACE more these days. I struggle with that and shame and don't want to pass it on to my daughter. Thank you!
    xoxo
    Leslie

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