Tuesday, August 16, 2011

this kid has me pegged.



mama...you are sad.

trooper sometimes seems older than the four years he has under his belt.  he can be silly and zany with the best of them.  he makes us laugh.  after hurting his foot he said he needed a "candy cane" {walking cane}.  i can hear him exclaim, "pwaise the Lord" when he finds something he's been looking for.  and i think scout gets a kick when he calls her a "genius."

today he was sitting on the kitchen counter with his little pad of paper and pen while i was unloading the dishwasher.  he sketched a picture of me.

i asked what it looked like and he simply said, "mama...you are sad."

i was shocked...really?  you think mama's sad? 

{i thought i was hiding it well}

he shook his head yes and sweetly smiled.

i fumbled with words, "oh...mama misses the mountains..but i'm happy!"  i think i mustered a smile.

he didn't buy it.

it's just that...

i miss this.



and some of this.


and this sweet girl.


this too shall pass, time heals all and at least we got to spend some time there...yes, yes, i know. 

but somehow...it's taking longer than i expected.  adjusting.  dare i say, grieving.  i don't mean to be a downer or a whiney baby.

is it possible i'm learning to live without a piece of me? because i know i left something in those mountains.

all i can do is hold on to the truth: God is in control.  He knows the big picture.  He wants us here.  He wants me to be feeling all there is to feel. 

and yes, trooper is right on.

15 comments:

  1. I'm sending up a quick prayer for your and your adjusting. It has to be hard to adjust after you just finished adjusting!

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  2. awww... change is hard - no matter for the worse or better. and as we get older, adjustments seem to be even more melancholy...

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  3. Trooper will make a good husband someday if he can read his momma that well.
    And I'm sorry your sad. Maybe fall weather will come soon and you won't miss the mountains so much if it isn't blazing hot! Change is always hard. Prayers for you. :)

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  4. Awww, I bet you're missing those mountains... I know I SURE would. I was missing them only after a short trip to Montana. I can only imagine how you'd miss them after LIVING out there. God has a perfect plan though. Thinking of y'all often, and hoping the Lord will allow y'all to take a trip to the South someday.. SOON! :-D
    Love y'all!
    Laney

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  5. This is a sweet post. I can see why you would miss that. I know that I love my home and the view but as we look for a new place to call home (while it's exciting!!) there will always be a piece of myself left behind. :)

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  6. Think back to when you were off to the mountains...did you ever think then that you become so attached...I can understand why you're feeling this way...but this too shall pass!! Take care and chin up, my friend!!

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  7. I love your honesty. It's a new chapter and yes you left a part of yourself in the mountains but you have new parts of yourself to find. Hang in there.

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  8. I always love your post. You put it into words so good.
    I'm sure it's hard to change and adjust. Prayers for you guys!! :)

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  9. Awww, I have one of those. My Makenna is very perceptive, and is a deep thinker.

    I'm sorry you miss the mountains so. Change is very difficult for me. I hope God shows you more of His plan soon.

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  10. I think I would miss that too. What a wonderful heart your son has.

    Turning the pages of new chapters in our life can be so hard.

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  11. Hi!
    Saw your name 'Mountain Mama' in a comment & was intrigued. These littles never cease to surprise me! They are such Good teachers. Sounds like you are in the midst of some trying times & I pray the peace of God upon you!

    Blessings~
    Rebecca

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  12. Kids are so amazingly insightful. I can just feel your sadness when you write. The photos and stories you've shared are so beautiful.....I can certainly see why you miss it so much.

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  13. Oh I just want to give you a big hug. It will get better I am sure. Trooper is a very perspective young man. Take care. B

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  14. What a beautiful post! And, what a sweet boy you have.
    The name of your blog drew me here, love it!

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  15. my friend..you RE WISER THn i will ever claim to be. so i will never pretend to know what you are feeling... there arre times in our lives that only get to be moments.. then we have to move on. much like seasons. Gods plan is huge and sometimes much like a tornado ...we hear it coming and prepare. he readied you before for change, he readies you now.changes are here.but!!!! he has given you shelter...now run with it! you can do this...i know the fire in you.

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