Monday, August 1, 2011

the keds.



keds. black.  size 6 ½ M.
it’s not the tattered shoes that mean a lot, it’s the person who wore them.
empty they have been for eleven years.
those shoes represent love, patience, understanding, maturity, selflessness, hard work, humbleness and laughter. 
they bring back memories and aromas.
smells of blooming 4 o’clocks, pot roast and perfume. 
memories of breezes cooling the sweat pouring down our faces.
i can still see her blue eyes sparkle.
she was a God fearin’ hard working woman getting her hands dirty in the earth and selling sacks and sacks of avon.
grandma represented everything good.  everything real.  everything secure.
she never complained. 
not even when she was diagnosed with lou gehrig’s disease.
as i stare at that empty pair of shoes sitting in a pile of keepsakes i wonder
if i can ever begin to fill those shoes…i’m afraid to try.
i’m full of impatience, faults and shortcomings.
too many to list...they make my head swim.
i wish i could chat with her once more. 
i have a list topics from rearing kids to perfecting her raspberry marshmellow dessert.
i have personal questions, theories, regrets only she would understand.
alas, the shoes remain empty.
but my heart, my heart is full.
full of everything she instilled in me. 
i love and miss you grandma, see you soon.


*grandma was an avon lady. i was fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time with her.  we “avoned”, visited friends and worked outside.  she taught me many things and i pray i can be at least half the woman she was.  after her death i remember seeing those empty shoes on the back porch.  i watched her so many times mow her own lawn and pick countless weeds.  Those shoes, i couldn’t bear to throw away.


20 comments:

  1. wow, that is so cool to have that reminder each and every day. She sounds like a hard workin' God fearin' woman! Love this!

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  2. love them keds...Your grandma is Special, and Im sure shes glad that you are remembering the fun times, and you will meet again one day - where there will be lots of happy introductions ;D Praise God!

    I wear white keds around the house all the time lol and Im a 6.5 too - I hope there s a granddaughter who will treasure the memories the way you do one day for me too~!

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  3. That is beautiful. She sound like an absolutely wonderful lady. I bet you are more like her than you think. Think about how much you have changed in the last 10 years. She just had some extra time on you. You have her example and in the coming years I am sure you will learn the things you long to. I bet she is very proud of the woman you are today, though.

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  4. This was the sweetest post...I think she would be very proud of you. I'm not sure any of us can fill the shoes of those who came before us. They had it so much harder and they learned to do things that we have never had to do. She must have been a great lady.

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  5. What a sweet picture of the two of you, she's lovely! And what a precious memorial to someone so dear to you. Thanks for sharing this, can't wait to me her someday. Isn't that such an awesome truth?

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  6. Beautiful..... Memories are so special.

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  7. What a wonderful tribute to your Grandma...love the photo of the 2 of you!

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  8. You've made me cry. What a priceless momentous.what an amazing women she must have been...3 boys momma.

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  9. Oh how beautiful - I love your reminder of your precious Grandma. You have Grandma's eyes, you know! What a great photo :) -Tammy

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  10. Oh I would never be able to throw them away either. A wonderfully written story. Your Grandma would be proud. B

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  11. Such a beautiful post and a beautiful photo. Hold onto those memories and share them with your kids. They are precious.

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  12. What a beautiful post. It made me think of my grandmother who passed just 6 years ago. You told your grandmother's story so beautifully. Won't be be such a celebration when she gets to welcome you home to heaven!! I'm sure she's proud of the woman you are.

    Oh, and I see you got her eyes! What an amazing color they are!

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  13. What a wonderful post! Just remember you are on a path to become a women just like your gramma... Little by Little he changes us.....God looks at our heart..

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  14. Beautiful post...and what a beautiful woman she was! So nice to have her shoes as a reminder of how special she was.

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  15. Lovely lady. Lovely memories. Lovely that you will see her again someday. Just lovely.

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  16. A beautiful photo and memory. When my grandma went to Heaven I missed her prayers most of all. I knew each day she prayed for me and I felt the loss.

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